Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Is My Cat Sad Because His Buddy's Gone?

From Rebecca S. via gmail

"We recently had to give away one of our two cats because of aggressive behavior toward our newborn baby. It was a sad but neccessary thing to do. Now our other cat just walks around the house meowing constantly.

"Do cats grieve the loss of other feline companions? Is he missing his 'brother' and is there anything we can do to help?"

Since cats aren't pack animals and tend to keep to themselves, many people don't believe that they'll grieve for a lost companion. But as anyone who's ever suddenly found themself one cat short in a multi-cat household can tell you, cats often do indeed miss their lost companion. Cats are sensitive creatures who often form close bonds with other pets or humans and will suffer from their loss.

I remember when we had to have our Sammy put down. Mina, who'd only been with use for a few years at that point, seemed as devastated by the loss as we did. Of course, we went out and acquired another cat to distract ourselves from our pain. However, Mina never really warmed up to Agatha, and the two of them developed quite the adversarial relationship as time passed. I've often pondered as to whether this was due to her arriving so soon after Sammy's death. Who knows what goes through a cat's head?

It does sound very much as if your cat is missing his companion cat. You didn't mention how close the two of them were but, if they were, then it's all the more likely that he's missing him. The first stage of grief is known as "activation." This is where the cat is looking for it's missing companion, typically evidenced by the cat pacing the house, as if looking for their missing companion, and crying out, as if trying to find find their companion.

If this is as far as the behavior goes and it doesn't continue for terribly long, then things may be alright. However, sometimes this activation will grow into full-blown depression. Look for these signs:

- Loss of appetite - This is serious and potentially life threatening. Anorexia in cats can lead to Hepatic Lipidosis where excess fat accumulates in the liver . It's important to seek veterinary attention if your cat stops eating.

- An unusual lethargy or loss of energy. This can be tough to spot in older cats, since they may spend a lot of their time sleeping anyway.

- Withdrawal, or loss of interest in their surroundings and other interests. If they're usually there to greet you when you get home, but suddenly aren't, then this is a surefire sign.

- Clingy/needy behaviour and/or separation anxiety. Your cat's already lost one pal, and they're afraid of losing another.

At this point it's important to reassure your cat, but at the cat's pace, in its own time, while making allowances for the individual cat's nature and current condition. Things you'll want to do include:

- Give kitty lots of extra tender loving care, including cuddles, grooming, and stroking. Try to make extra time to play with him.
- Most cats will respond positively to a favorite food or cat treats. Offer him some to encourage him to eat. Even try warming the food up slightly.
- Do your best to keep his routine otherwise as normal as possible. Cats really detest any change, and too much at once will really set him over the edge.
- While it may sound contradictory, be certain to provide a quiet, private spot where he can have some time alone when he needs it, to sort through things.

As to whether getting another pet will help, the jury's generally undecided. The official word is that it's best to let kitty work through his grief before introducing another companion. However, I've heard several anecdotal accounts where the opposite was true, and introducing a new kitten was just the thing to bring out their maternal/paternal instinct and pull them out of their funk.

In extreme cases your veterinarian can prescribe an anti-anxiety or anti-depressant for your cat, should it become necessary.

Still, there's a good chance that your cat will work through his grief of missing his buddy on his own and will be the healthy, happy kitty he's always been. Ultimately, you know your cat, and can tell what's best for him from the options I've presented.

2 comments:

catfather said...

I have had four cats -- two sisters born in in 1990; a male whom I rescued in 2004 at about 10 months of age; a a tiny kitten rescued in 2007 when, I estimate, she was only 4 weeks. The two sisters were totally bonded, and one formed a deep attachment to my mother. When we had to place my mother in a nursing home in 1995, it was obvious the cat was grieving -- friends said they could see it. The male came into their lives quite late (they were then 14 years), and they weren't so sure they wanted him. But this male is a cat who never has met a cat, person or even dog he doesn't love, and he made himself indispensable to the sister cats. When one died, he helped the survivor through her grieving. When the survivor had to be put down in 2007, he obvioulsy was in mourning; it just so happened that a friend had some strays he was feeding; one was a runt, and could not get enough to eat. She was small enough to sit in the palm of my hand. Even at so young an age, I felt it better the take her from her mother -- herself no more than 6 months -- or the runt would starve. She passed her medical tests, and came home; the second day she was here, her big (I mean BIG) "brother" started grooming her. And something rare for a male: he became her "mother" and taught her how to be a cat. That is an exceptional thing for a male to do. Now, after 16 months, she is elegantly long and tall, and they are deep, deep friends.

Diane said...

Maybe whoever took the other cat would take him too and they may be happier together.